Witty Remarks
by notaninspiration
Summary: Prussia x Hungary x Germany. Requested by a friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

A friend requested this. Don't I have weird friends?

I'll update probably 2-3 times a month, depending on my scheduling. That said, this is going to be about 10 chapters (maybe).

With a small grin, Gilbert plops onto his bed and grabs his laptop. He boots it up, trying desperately not to squeal like a teenage girl (even though no one is around to notice, he still has to keep his manliness in check). Gilbert had just found out about a new chatroom that apparently has a lot of hot chicks on it. He's sure that his awesome personality will get him a girlfriend.

With a woot, he logs onto it and waits for them to come running.

After about ten minutes, someone asks him a question.

 **Liz003:** _Why is your profile pic a yellow bird?_

Not the question Gilbert had been expecting, but he answers quickly anyways.

 **TheAwesomeGil:** _Because that bird is my awesome little friend! His name's Gilbird!_

A few seconds later a reply comes.

 **Liz003:** _He's really cute!_

Gilbert grins upat the little bird perched on his head.

"I knew you were a chick magnet!"

Gilbird cheeps, and Gilbert chuckles at him.

Surprisingly enough, the two liked talking to each other enough that they started their own chatroom and began talking regularly. Gilbert soon learned that **Liz003** 's real name is Elizabeth, and he revealed himself as Gilbert. They talked about everything, and soon got to know each other really well. They got to know each other so well, in fact, that they decided to meet up in person.

Gilbert groans.

"What am I supposed to wear to something like this?!"

He settles on something casual; a pair of jeans and a red shirt.

"I'm going now," Gilbert calls to his brother as he walks out the door.

"Be careful and don't stay out too late!"

"Me? Never!"

 **TheAwesomeGil:** _Where are you?_

 **Liz003:** _I'm by the new Mexican place. I'm the one in the green dress._

He looks around and, sure enough, spots a girl in a green dress by the new Mexican place.

"Elizabeth," he shouts while running towards her.

She turns toward him, and he runs into a tree.

" _Owowowowow..._ "


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**

I have honestly never thought about these three being in a threesome, nor have I read any fanfiction with them as a threesome. in it.

Basically, I'm just winging it. Reviews and such are much appreciated, and all that jazz.

Note: I love sassy Lovino. I can't help it, as he is my spirit animal.

* * *

"That wasn't very awesome of me," Gilbert mutters as he clutches his throbbing head.

"Are you alright Gil?"

He uses his hand that is not holding his head to point accusingly at Elizabeth.

"When we were kids I thought you were a guy! And then you...Uh...this."

He gestures wildly at the obviously feminine form in front of him.

"You haven't changed a bit! I should've known it was you by your username, though."

"What's wrong with my username," he yells defensively.

"Nothing, jeez. Well, now that we're here, what do you want to do?"

"I should be asking you that."

Elizabeth looks around. There's a flower in her brown ,wavy hair that falls out as she does, and Gilbert picks it up.

"I missed you, you know. After Ludwig and I moved, you were always on my mind. _Fuck,_ that sounded super corny. What I meant to say was, you look really pretty. Okay, that didn't sound how I wanted it to sound!"

"Stop word vomiting and look at me for a minute!"

Gilbert sticks the flower into Elizabeth's hair and gives her a wide grin. He has a warm, bubbly feeling in his chest when he looks into Elizabeth's green eyes, and somehow, he can tell she feels the same.

"I'm only looking at you."

Then his words hit him and he turns three shades of red.

"Fuck! I'm not usually like this, I swear!"

Her laugh snaps Gilbert out of his panic.

"Like what? A dork? I may have not seen you since we were kids, but I can see that hasn't changed."

"My awesome self has always been awesome! Your words wound me and-"

"Sure, sure."

Gilbert lets out an exhasperated sigh.

* * *

They eventually decide upon going to the movies (but spent a while unable to decide upon a movie). The movie ends up being a romantic comedy, cliches and all. Of course, Gilbert wanted to see the new Marvel movie, but they played the all-deciding game of rock-paper-scissors, and as much as he hates to admit it...he sucks at that game.

After the movie, they go to a nice Italian place that Ludwig likes to go. So it shouldn't be a surprise when the see him talking with the owner, a man named Feliciano.

But, it is.

"Bruder?!"

"Ludwig?!"

"Pastaaaa," a certain Italian man interjects.

After one long awkward silence, they (Ludwig, Elizabeth, and Gilbert) all got a booth.

"So that's one order of go-fuck-yourself with a side of shut-the-fuck-up for the albino asshole, and a bowl of lamb stew for the lady," Lovino, the waiter, says. "What does the jackass that hangs around my fratello want?"

"Ah, the potato torta, if you please."

Lovino grumbles and stomps off, leaving them alone.

"Bruder, you remember Elizabeth, right?"

"How could I forget," he replies. Ludwig smiles at the brunette, genuine and charming.

Then, out of the corner of his eye, Gilbert sees Elizabeth's cheeks tinge pink.

That's when he realizes he has a huge problem.


End file.
